Friday, March 28, 2008

Boys vs Girls

Maybe I should title this ME with Emma vs. ME with Tyler. I don't really know. What I do know is that I hate potty training. And I say this after having trained Emma in two days (two years ago). She got it pretty well, and I still hated it. Yesterday, Tyler told me he wanted to be potty trained (he's 2 1/2). I have long been thinking about when to potty train him; I've heard boys are hard, so I wanted to wait until closer to 3 years old, but hey, if he's ready he's ready - right? I figured I'd give it a try, but being the type that hates potty training, I wasn't in the mood to do a full-on boot camp. He got to put on his Diego underwear, which he thought were a for-sure fashion statement. He ran around for a while, strutting his stuff and his newfound freedom. I took him in to the potty every 15 minutes, where he would attempt to "push," then would smile at me and say "It isn't working!" I would let him get up, just waiting for an accident.

Sure enough, he ran outside and watered the entire patio. Thankfully he was outside. But I was done and got a diaper. Like I said, NOT IN THE MOOD. However, he enjoyed himself, wet underwear and all, and decided he needed to try on a pair of Lightning McQueen ones. As soon as he watered our carpet (as well as Lightning McQueen), I threw him in the shower and we were back to diapers. Maybe in a few weeks I'll get motivated to really push it, but right now just isn't the time (especially with an upcoming move).

So my question for those with potty trained boys: Is there something I need to do differently this time because he's a boy? To me it is NOT WORTH it to "potty train" him if he's going to have lots of accidents and be halfway trained. I want him to be like Emma was! I know that's asking a lot, but should I wait a few months, do a serious boot camp, wait for him to do it himself (likely at 4 years old - gross)? I just want this to be as painless as possible for all involved, including the carpet. I need advice; I'm ready to throw in the towel and we haven't even started yet. Bad sign.

7 comments:

Lisa R.D. said...

I'm there with you--I hated potty training so much. Olivia was much easier than Coleman, mostly because she wanted to do it earlier and was easily motivated with stickers on a chart. I finally told Coleman I would buy him anything he wanted if he would go on the toilet, just once. It still took several months before he had any desire to be trained. At his 3 year old visit his pediatrician (who is otherwise mostly competent) said I had maybe "missed the window". WHAT??? He wasn't ready until he was 3 1/2 or older, and once he was there, it was pretty easy, just a few accidents. I decided that for us, it was way better to wait until he was ready--I was happy to buy diapers and pull-ups until he was 3 1/2 and then potty train for a few weeks instead of cleaning up accidents for months (or years). Best of luck! Tyler could be ready--if he is, it's never too early :).

Laura H. said...

I totally hear you with the not wanting to deal with potty training thing. I was going to wait, changed my mind, and now I think maybe we started a bit early. Jessica is a smart girl, she's actually is really good about going. But she sees to have gotten bored with the whole thing. She'll never tell me when she has to go and for the past week or so she screams when I try to have her try. I think we're going to take a break and try again fresh in a while so it's exciting again. We'll see. I'm changing my mind every 2 seconds on this. But, like you said, I'd rather it be a short process when she's older than a long one when she's young, even if the age of being all trained is the same. Sorry for the novel! :)

Janene said...

I only trained one boy, so I feel like no pro. We talked to him a lot about it beforehand, but it wasn't until 3 and 1/2 that he was trained and, as Lisa said, it was pretty quick, we kept reminding him "Do you need to use the potty?..." and it wasn't two days before he said (very annoyed) "Please stop talking about that!" read: leave me alone already, I've got it figured out!

If YOU aren't ready, I think it would be best to wait. Mull it over a bit and follow his lead. I guess that is all the advice I've got to give. :o) Good luck!

heidi said...

The thing that saved us was a book. I tried lots of different things and ended up with wet carpet and poop smeared on walls (so not fun). But then we got him "Once Upon a Potty", read it to him like 50 times, and then he pretty much potty trained himself. It was great! But who knows...right? Good luck!

Natalie N said...

I definitely agree...potty training is THE WORST!! I think you hit the nail on the head though--it's all about when MOM is ready.

I think it's great that Tyler is showing interest in his underwear and things. A key that helped me train Cole was finding his "currency". Cole would walk over hot coals barefoot for CARS toys and fruit snacks/sweets. So, every time he went #1 he got a treat, and every time he went #2 he got a Car.

It took Cole about 4-5 days at home, but eventually he learned how to hold it. Something else that worked for us is "dry pants checks". We basically set the timer for every 5-10 minutes and when the timer went off, we'd have him check his underwear. If he was dry, he got a specific treat (he loved marshmallows). I think that helped teach him what DRY pants are (isn't that the whole goal?!), and he loved the treat/praise he got when he was dry!

Okay, I've given you an ear full now! I think you're wise to wait till you're in the mood for training. It requires a lot of attention and it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate right now with planning a move etc.

GOOD LUCK!!

The Howard Bolton Family said...

Having potty trained two sons and being witness to my brothers' potty training experiences, it is all about timing--the mom's and the son's. It is such a metaphor for life: the son needs to have a desire, the mom needs to be the teacher. We found that boot camp is the only way. You give two days and plenty of time. Help them to drink a lot, then help them to be excited to sit on the toilet. I bought books that I knew that they would love and only allowed them to be read while they were sitting on the toilet. Then I tried to be excited when they went and rewarded them with stickers, to be redeemed for something else. I think Siovhan was much harder to train than Braden or Ben, but she stayed dry through the night. Ben wouldn't wake up if he needed to go to the potty, so I would have to go and wake him up and help him get used to going at night.
You are probably well aware that this subject is one that creates a lot of ideas, you can go to the bookstore and find many different books by various authorities on how to train your child. I think you just need to find something that you think you can do and then try it. It will eventually succeed--not too many Kindergarten students in diapers.

breanna said...

hey cheri! i was so happy to find your blog! funny...we're having the same debate in our house. renee was in panites at 20 months. i thought for sure elijah could be potty-trained before his second birthday! HA! in like august he was interested, but obviously too young (17 months--he turned 2 on march 28th). then when he was older--it was a full on fit when we went to the bathroom for a long time...now he's interesed and goes when he feels like it all by himself, but it's seriously like a couple of times a week. i've pretty much given up--unless someone can convince me otherwise. go for it elijah! potty train yourself!he'll eventually get the hang of it right?