Thursday, November 22, 2012


For several months people have asked us what we were doing for our 10 year anniversary. As coincidences would go...we had a baby! 5 babies in 10 years, in our first 10 years. I wonder what the next 10 years will bring - college, missions, and high school for the first two, elementary school, pre-school, potty training, and sleep training for the younger two. I'll have one foot in the door of raising older children and one in the door of younger children, with 5 years separating the two groups.

The start of "us" goes back to our BYU days. We got married, both graduated (something I will always value and treasure - a college degree), and had our first baby there. Spencer's career has come a long way; he started out making peanuts (though it felt like we were rich!) and has since worked so hard climbing the corporate ladder to get us to a point of financial stability as quickly as possible. He went from staff level to senior management in 7 year, and I am so grateful he works so hard and is so driven...we have big dreams of our future when the kids are grown, when we can travel and serve missions and work in the temple together.

A few thoughts:
*Chaos is normal, especially once kid are thrown into the mix. Accepting that makes life more bearable, and more fun. It's been hard for me to embrace this, but I've come around.
*We are still our individual selves...kinda; Spencer has his strange habits that I just laugh at but have given up at trying to make disappear. We have gelled together in so many other ways that it feels like we grew up together. We've "gotten on the same page" about some parenting things that we have encountered/will encounter. We make a good team. I am happy being the disciplinarian most of the time, and he steps in when he needs to...but we still do it all together. When I've had it and am completely done, he's there to step in and take over, and vice versa.
*We are building something significant - a family. We are also contributing to our kids' characters and personalities. I must remember's more than us nagging and teaching the kids manners - these things will shape who they and who we all become. I am so proud of who my kids are and how good they are.
*I'm glad Spencer was sooo persistent with me. I was young and didn't want to get married (and really didn't know what I wanted) but he swears he knew we were supposed to get married from first sight, and was patient with me while I waffled.
*I am, right now especially, so thankful for Spencer and his support. Not only am I still recovering from a c-section, but before that was on bed rest for 4 weeks. That has meant NO housework by me at all for over 6 weeks, and he has continued to work at his more-than-full-time-job while doing laundry, dishes, shopping, and taking care of me, in addition to taking care of barfing kids in the middle of the night and helping with homework, doing his calling, etc. He has picked up the slack and then some. It's been an emotional 7 weeks but it's been much less so because of him. What a guy.
*I noticed a change in him and in our relationship 4 years ago when we experienced the loss of a child. He is so much more protective of me now, and while it sometimes gets annoying, I know he worries and is that way because he cares. Being married to a righteous father and priesthood holder has blessed me so many times and in so many ways, and is such a huge comfort. I can't wait to help my girls find a guy to marry who is just like their dad.

So, on this, our 10th Anniversary, which also happens to be Thanksgiving day, I am thankful for him and for us and for our family.

Friday, November 16, 2012

a week

Supposed to be posted yesterday...
At 10:16 this morning, I kissed my baby girl all over and thanked her for being born one week ago. I've said it before...there is nothing quite so heavenly as a newborn. This one is especially sweet. She is patient, actually sleeps a lot, and loves to be swaddled.

Her expressions are pretty awesome too. Here she is at 1 week.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

reality - life with a newborn

For me, reality sets in after a baby when my mom goes home. There is nothing quite like having your very own mom, the one who raised you since you yourself were a baby, there to push you along and take care of you, and especially just be there. No one knows what you need like she does.

Most of the time Mom was here we were in the hospital. But Tanner was happy and had her full attention. She handled school projects, piano lessons, homework, etc. I cried as I said goodbye this morning...because now it's up to us. Me and Spencer. Left to take care of FOUR kids. And now that I have had my final baby, I am already dreaming of when I get to go visit Emma as she has her first baby (in a long, long time!). I will probably have to beg her to let me stay for 3 weeks. Man, there is nothing quite like holding a newborn, especially when that newborn belongs to you. Indescribable.

So here are a few things I want to remember from the last 5 days:
-Having my feelings of complete terror calmed as Spencer gave me a blessing early on the morning of the birth that my body would be whole and everything would go completely smoothly.
-Feeling relief as I talked to my nurse, doctor, and the same anesthesiologist we had with Tanner.
-Shaking with lots of emotions as my body went numb and we waited for all the different sensations before the baby would be born. Shaking as the memories of past surgeries flooded back - even the smell of having the oxygen tubes in my nose was a little startling.
-Knowing that she was about to be born, and as my mind wandered to what she was doing in that moment - maybe with her big sister about to send her down - I got so emotional. What a wonderful thought to ponder exactly where these little ones are coming from!
-Tears (of fear, relief, gratitude) as she started screaming...quickly. I smiled as they described her as "mad" - I like a girl with attitude.
-Spencer WOULD NOT cut the cord! This is the first time he was even given that option; for me that was reason to do it. For him, a reason not to.
-Having her put on my chest within minutes. This was new to me, and unusual for c-sections. Our hospital is in a "baby-friendly" certification process. I can't say I loved it, but I am glad I got to experience it...once.

-Getting stitched up while staring at my beautiful baby girl just inches away from my face.
-Having my whole little family in our hospital room. Wow - that is overwhelming.
-Finally choosing a name - Sadie - and feeling so good knowing that it is just perfect for her.
-All her hair!

-Listening to her cry almost the whole first night...ironic.

Most of these pictures are repeats - the ones on my real camera are still on my real camera, and I'm finding that I just don't have time to go through pictures yet. Soon.