my oldest

Before I even got pregnant with Emma, I knew we would be having a girl. The doctor surprised us at my first appointment, at 16 weeks, and told us they could already tell and that it was a girl (that part wasn't surprising). I was thrilled. And now I can say what a phenomenal baby she was, especially after having these two boys who weren't/aren't quite so phenomenal...

I am so lucky Emma came first. She is always asking for Tanner after I feed him, so he isn't permanently attached to me like Tyler was. And he loves her! He rarely cries when she's toting him around, even though he'll usually cry when I take him back. Basically Emma is eating up the whole baby thing going on around here, as evidenced by this picture.

(Doesn't he look so happy?)

I love knowing I am raising my own baby-sitter, and a future mother. After Macie died Emma told me she was never having kids, as all she knew or remembered of my childbearing experience was grief, but she has now changed her mind and wants 100. I'll settle for anything in between. I'm glad she's getting to mother this little guy - I think it's therapeutic for her and is also giving her some good practice. And I'm glad she's around for another week before she's in school FULL DAY (yikes).

I love this girl. What a blessing she is to me.

(Helping him play "Go Fish.")

1 month

It's been a fun/stressful/busy month around here.

It's hard to go from having a 6 and 5 year old to throwing a newborn in the mix. The kids are so patient when I tell them they have to wait for things because I'm "feeding the baby." I had forgotten that it can take an hour to feed a newborn.


We traveled to LA for my only sister's wedding (3 weeks post-partum). I cried through the whole thing (and my head cold didn't help). All the wedding events were wonderful. So happy for them.

Spencer has worked more during this time period than ever before. It makes me wonder if we'll ever be able to use his 2 weeks of paid paternity leave...maybe someday things will slow down.

Speaking of Spencer...he has a new calling. So in addition to being alone on weekday evenings with the kids right now, I'm also alone on Sundays. Blessings, right?

Tanner has taken after his older siblings: not great nappers but pretty good night sleepers. I definitely prefer that, but sometimes during the day I wonder if it's worth it. (Don't let the yawn fool you.)


I start to feel great, then do "too much" (which is really nothing at all) and pay for it the next day. Incision is still sore.

Tanner has smiled at me - a real smile - 3 times now.

And, I finally got some newborn pictures of him. It took me until he was 4 weeks old but at least it's something.

5

5 years ago, at 12:01 pm, I birthed this handsome redhead.

He still is a handsome redhead. I sure love this boy.

I also love that we can now stop talking about his birthday for a few months.

Happy Birthday buddy.