Always right

Are you always right like me? I'm starting to think that it might be ok to not always be right. I have (sheepishly) said once or twice, after a child is hurt and crying: "Did I tell you to stop doing that?" Yes. "If you had listened you wouldn't have gotten hurt!" Sometimes I just feel like yelling "DUH!" I guess that's why kids have parents, to teach them all these things. But maybe I have kids so they can also teach me things.

A couple weeks ago, sitting next to the beautiful Gualala River, my sweet girl and I had a few minutes while the boys were in the raft. I don't remember what we were talking about but I know we were both enjoying ourselves. She said, "Mom, I want to be right sometimes." That pierced me through the heart. While it was sort of a "cute" thing to say, I felt awful. I've been thinking these past few weeks about how to empower my children. How can I help them feel confident and full of self-esteem, and not let them feel like their "always right" mom keeps reminding them of their mistakes? How can I relieve them of their worry?

I want my kids to know that they are perfect just how they are. I was told by a few people as a pre-teen that I was "stuck up." That consumed my thoughts so often, and I constantly worried if how I was acting or if what I was saying was "stuck up." It bothered me for years and I don't think I was ever able to develop true confidence during those hard and awkward years. If I label Emma as "bossy," she may feel like that is who she is and will never get past that. If Tyler hears (or even overhears) that he is a momma's boy (hypothetically...), I worry that he'll either feel like he's been labeled and give in to being just that, or rebel and go the opposite (no!) way. I want them to be right sometimes. I want them to be wrong sometimes. I want them to learn from their little mistakes, but mostly I want them to be who they are. I LOVE who they are. I love that Emma is so caring and sensitive; I love that if she hurts someone's feelings SHE will be the one to run to me, in tears, because she feels so bad and has such a compassionate heart. So what if she's bossy sometimes? And I love that Tyler loves me with all his heart, even if all I want some evenings is for him to let his dad put him to bed. And, come on, is it really accomplishing anything when I pull the I told you so crap after he has an accident?

I hope to be able to acknowledge when I am wrong, and when they are right. How much stronger, more confident people they'll be be if they feel empowered now! I know this will take me a long time, but just so you know what's in my head... I've got great empowering plans for the summer!