Seriously, by dinnertime some days I want to take my plate and go eat somewhere else, somewhere quiet. I've heard all my life how important it is to eat dinner together as a family. This topic seems to be around, and in my mind, more these days. Spencer typically isn't home in time for dinner, and I'd rather not have the kids eating at 7 every night. So, it's the 3 of us. Sometimes I still take my plate elsewhere when I have had it.
I know it's important to eat dinner together; I've always heard it and I've always known it. But the pediatrician has also started pointing out to me the importance of family dinners. She doesn't have the same background I do, but I find it fascinating that she would talk to me about this. (This is the same doctor who called me at night after our appointment in February - Emma's - to tell me her urine test was fine...and then to tell me how she sorry she was that I had lost a baby. I didn't even know she knew I had been pregnant; I guess they have their ways!) She said studies show that children who participate in family dinners have lower incidences of obesity and higher chances of going to college, among other benefits. Anyway, I admire her quite a bit and figured that if someone outside of my family and church was telling me to have family dinners I should really not just do it but make it a priority.
Well, dinner is over, and the kids are chasing each other and screaming. And I am satisfied. We had a good discussion - just the three of us - over pizza and noodles, about camping and school and how Aunt Carly was hit by a car when she was little, and more seriously, about death. Emma asked if one of her children would die as a baby. How glad I was for that teaching moment! Then they asked why they couldn't sleep in the tent tonight outside. Little brains are not only so pushy and sneaky but so creative! I actually enjoyed sitting in our little breakfast nook together chatting for an undisturbed 15 minutes. I am seeing the importance in it, not just blindly following. Spencer makes it home for 1 or 2 of the weeknights and those nights are even better because I get to see my kids tell Spencer about every exciting bug they saw and picture they drew. Oh to see life through a child's eyes again!
I am determined to be more active in making sure we eat dinner together, and making it enjoyable with productive conversation. I have a sneaking suspicion that this tradition will become more important in the future as the kids grow up and have to stand up for themselves and avoid negative peer pressure. I hope that our family as a whole can be a safe, welcoming place for them every evening to talk and ask questions. Besides, it's fun and I love to talk!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Family Dinners
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8 comments:
I needed to hear this great reminder tonight. Thanks!
We eat together, but i could certainly do better bringing up more productive and interesting conversation than who is good at eating what... and negotiating how many more bites. :o)
Your pediatrician sounds wonderful! Just to add more encouragement, from a nutrition standpoint there is also great evidence about the importance of the family meal... and I've seen so many statistics about shielding our families from the potential harms of the real world (drugs, alcohol, immmorality) that I'm convinced. I admit though, there are some days that I just want to run and hide, with or without my plate :).
Haha, I love hearing about all the random things in their day that they find of the utmost importance. Things like that really help you appreciate the little things in life more. :)
Dinner time...Howard misses more dinner times than he participates in. The nightly arguments, the comments on food choices, the tired voices, yes, they are important. I don't blame you for wanting to eat in quiet. Howard told Mikaela that he needed 5 minutes of Mikaela silence the other day, after she had talked for about 20 minutes solid. She paused for less than ten seconds, then started all over.
Do you see Dugoni (or as Dylan calls her Dr. Goonie!). She's so great. And she always gives us the dinner talk and even asks how long we sit down together and how often Kevin can be there. Did you know she has a bunch of kids? I think it makes her a better doctor. Anyway, with 3 boys and Kevin, usually our dinners involve racing to see who can finish first and farting contests. The boys just taught themselves how to belch. ugg. With them and Ryan always throwing his food off his tray, I want to eat somewhere else too.
This month has been hard for us with fam dinner--J.R. gets home way past dinnertime as well Mon-Sat. I feel bad when we have already eaten and I have a lack of motivation to cook a big meal when it is just ALyssa and I--but I do want him to have a good meal to come home to after a long day. Anyways, good reminder to keep on doing it!!
be careful...letting your kids talk to you whenever can make for late nights and long heated discussions.
i have a bit of experience in these "wonderful" moments...
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