4 1/2 months post move + tips

Moving is hard. I don't think there is any way that it won't be hard, no matter what. I knew this - we have moved a lot - but maybe I forgot a little bit.

When we told the kids we were moving back in September Tyler burst into tears and Emma cheered. Tanner wasn't sure what to do, and Sadie was probably eating a cookie. My point is that Tyler knew it would be hard and scary and new and different. Emma probably did but didn't think it was a big deal at the time. Funny enough, Tyler has probably had the easiest adjustment of all. He rides the bus with 3 of his best (LDS) friends, getting up at 6 to leave at 6:20 doesn't bother him one bit, and he is suddenly the smartest kid in the school (bothers ME, not him). Emma has also made friends quickly, but middle school can be brutal, girls can be petty, and being older is just harder for change anyway.

One of my friends asked me which kid missed Fremont first and I said "none!" While they miss their friends, they were missing out on so many other cool things. School was hard and stressful for them. They felt quite out of place in a lot of ways. (But I can guarantee they will become incredibly homesick around Memorial Day...)

Here are my tips for moving (and for myself to remember in case we do this again):
*Make friends right away. Get out there and don't wait for people to come to you. Church helps immensely in this area because of built-in friends, but even then there are no guarantees (unless you move to an area with a small ward where you are desperately needed, and even then...). Also, you need friends you can leave your kids with, and whose kids you can watch in return. I had a few of those friends right away, and it is so helpful.
*Invite people over! We have had about 10 families over in the 4 months we have been here, and we had a different family over every Sunday in February. That is way easier to make friends because at church it is hard especially if your calling prevents you from chatting much. Besides, there is something extra special once you have people in your home.
*Unpack as quickly as possible. I did most of it but not all and as a result I am still working on it. It is such a burden to feel unsettled for months.
*Put your kids into activities and sports (other than church ones). Tanner started preschool the week after we moved here (I did some investigating before we even moved) so he had friends right away, as well as something to look forward to.  (He wasn't in preschool in CA because I didn't want to pay for something I could do myself, but here kindergarten is full-day so I felt like he needed some preparation for that.) The big kids started piano less than 2 weeks after we moved in, again from doing some searching before we moved. We got them into basketball within 6 weeks of moving here. They jumped right in. Emma got into choir through her school and even got to be in the Christmas concert after we had just been here 3 weeks. They like to belong and to feel important and that has eased the transition so much. Tyler is now playing baseball and knew absolutely no one but it hasn't seemed to bother him, and he has even more friends now.
*Set low expectations. It's easier not to be disappointed if you don't expect the new place to be as great or better than the last place.
*Get involved in the community. This one is harder for me - I can't even go to Walmart without 3 or 4 severe temper tantrums from Sadie, but I have grand plans for myself in a few years. Spencer is applying for the city planning commission; what better way to be involved?