back at it

This just might be my new favorite picture of my kids.

Someone asked how I got them all happy and looking. It took about 5 seconds. The 3 are trained. I set Sadie down, made lots of noise, and snapped. Easy.

Though it is equally as cute, if not more so, when she smiles at her siblings instead. 3 of her favorite people.

Crazy that number 1 and number 3 look alike, and number 2 and number 4 look alike. Do you agree?

The girls were kinda matchy. Not easy when they are 9 years apart. Seriously, what is cuter than pink jeggings?? Or Tanner's cute face?

The first day of school was also my birthday (LAME), and one of my cute Beehives and her mom "liked" my front door. What a cute idea! I love it so much I left it up. A couple of my other girls heart attacked me later in the day. So our traditional back-to-school pics in front of the door were a little different this year.

Tyler deemed his first day the "best first day of school ever!" Both have excellent teachers, and I haven't seen them this happy about school in a long time. This good news makes it slightly easier for me to send them away every morning.

Only 177 more days!

sadie

I just need to take a minute to get some things down...

At 9 1/2 months:
-Sadie waves, dances ("dance" is one of the only words she understands), and claps.
-She squints her eyes and smiles real big when she wants something.
-She crawls really fast
-She is starting to climb

-She is still a horrible sleeper (I just want to remember this someday...but can't fathom that I could forget). I am resigned to the fact that she will learn eventually.
-Still loves mom but is coming around to others in the family.
-She loves to swim. And she loves the bath. That is where she crawls.
-She has 4 teeth, 2 top and 2 bottom.
-She is a charmer. We get stopped everywhere we go, with lots of comments on her eyes, hair, etc.

thoughts on back to school

We aren't quite back in school yet. But it is looming. I am thinking about it a lot. Dreading it. Welcoming it. Wondering if I will finally be able to get Sadie on a schedule. Worried about all my PTA responsibilities. Concerned about the insane things my state is implementing in the schools. Hoping I can do it all.

Macie would be starting transitional kindergarten. She would have the same teacher Emma had for kindergarten. I wonder how I would feel about that. The teacher was ok for Emma but would not have been for Tyler. I don't know Macie's personality to know if it would be a good match or a bad one. Still, interesting to think about. There are two little girls in the ward who would be her exact age, give or take a week or two. I watch them a lot and just wonder.

Tanner is starting joy school. I am happy to have some "Tanner time" when it is just the two of us for a bit every day. My boys are my emotional ones who seem to need me just a little more.

Emma is in 4th grade. I don't know why this gives me some anxiety. At the same time, I don't really worry about her at all. She knows how to choose good friends. She has been the single biggest blessing to me this summer so I am sad to have her gone. We have had lots of late nights just talking, the two of us, while Spencer is at work and the little kids are sleeping. We have been home for a big chunk of the summer and I am so glad. There hasn't been chaos or craziness, and Emma and I have really gotten to click. I hope we stay that way. I wonder when/if that will start to change. I think it doesn't have to.

Tyler struggled last school year. He wasn't comfortable with his teacher situation (substitutes the whole year). He had a hard time making friends. Luckily that changed for the last third of the year. I wonder if he will be different this year. And if he is the same, I hope I am patient and loving instead of the alternative.

I hope I can give everything I have to my kids. A few of my older friends have told me that younger kids are exhausting physically, and older kids are exhausting emotionally. I feel like I have a toe in each of those stages, and am starting to understand it a little bit. Spencer and I have discussed our "new normal" every couple of years, and how we have to adapt because it's not fleeting and brief but is here to stay. I feel another "new normal" coming on. I wonder what the future holds.

Gotta enjoy the last days with my kids home! It's a long while until Christmas vacation...

the good stuff

I've had a rough few months. When my babies are 8-10 months is the hardest for me, for some reason. At the same time it is also the most fun time. When Sadie is being cute, crawling around and climbing over us and getting into things, and dancing, and waiting for us to look at her, and squawking... Spencer will often say "We are gonna miss this." And I say, "Yes, I will miss THIS." The other stuff...not so much. This time is when I get the most sick, feel the most stress, and clench my jaw while I sleep. I feel like it is unavoidable, and inevitable.

So, I was glad for this fun event last weekend. I was busy preparing and thinking about it all week, and the depth of what was happening didn't really SINK in for me until the opening song, when I got so emotional! Unfortunately I was the one giving the prayer, and that was just blubbery and embarrassing.

But. It's nice to have these reminders - in the craziness of everything - of what stuff really matters. And this definitely mattered.

My big 8 year old boy, one of the easiest kids imaginable, chose to be baptized. I felt so much pride during the 45 minute service, I thought my heart could burst open. (I must make note here that Sadie was being naughty, so a dear friend took her out for the entire 45 minutes, and got her to sleep, and the rest of us got to listen and enjoy. What a gift.) A few other dear friends stepped in when I started to lose it, and helped make the rest of the day so sweet and nice. Emma gave such a great talk. What a good sister.

I love that this sorta brought me back to earth. These special days with the important little people of mine are what I treasure, and what we will miss when they grow up.

Proud of this boy!

winding down

Geez, just 3 weeks left of summer!

Last week we drove to SoCal to see my parents and to leave one of our kids there for a special visit. I would have gone alone but Sadie is still too hard in the car so Spencer drove with us and worked from there. We went swimming and went to the beach. Going to the beach there gives me such an appreciation for clean, warm, nice beaches.

Spencer boogie boarded with the kids for hours!

One mental picture I will have for a long time is Tanner being SO brave and going out pretty far. He even took a quick turn on the boogie board.

Tyler got brave this year too and was in the water for a long time. But once he was done he was DONE.

Sadie and I hung out and she crawled around in the sand (and ate some). She also got her turn in the water. She didn't hate it.

As we were leaving on Sunday, and were leaving Tyler, he got a little anxiety about being homesick. He is my homebody. So we decided to let Emma stay. Win-win (for THEM! Not ME!)

So I'm at home with the little kids, missing the help of my big kids. I'm sure they're loving it, though Emma did admit she misses Tanner and Sadie. Can't wait to have them back.