5 months

Oh Sadie. I love this girl with my entire heart. Truly. I feel like she is so much a part of me, more than any of my other kids is physically part of me. And, she mostly just likes me. I do not exaggerate that. And while this is so so hard for me, there is that one part of me that feels like it is sweet. Spencer says when she asks him for money someday he will remind her that she wanted nothing to do with him when she was a baby. (Actually, the last few days she has become more pleasant. I even like her! I need to remember that months 2-5 were nearly impossible, and at 5 months old it got a little easier.)

Sadie slept pretty well until about 4 months old. Then she wigged out. She was waking me up at least twice, and because she shares a room and we all are pretty close I couldn't let her cry for too long (more than 30 or so minutes). Sometimes I let her cry and sometimes I get her and feed her just because it is easier (in the short run, not the long). I am frustrated with myself because I'm not consistent, and frustrated with everyone because I am just so tired, and frustrated with her because she has regressed bigtime and is now worse than a newborn. I've got to figure her out! The only thing consistent about her (specifically about sleeping) is her inconsistency. No two nights have ever been the same, not even.

All my kids need constant stimulation and attention as babies, but Sadie is just a little priss! If I hold her she will be happy all day long. But we have places to go (read: she isn't being held in the car, heaven forbid) and I have dishes to do and dinner to make, and homework to help with, so she spends some time screaming her guts out. I thought she would adjust as she got older. She will sit in her saucer for about 10 minutes before turning into a crazy woman. Let's just say I would never describe her as calm and content. Not even close.

But! Sadie's smile can light up a room. Her eyes are gorgeous and blue and sparkly, her smile is perfect, and her fat legs are scrumptious. Her dad teases that she probably has oreos in her rolls. She doesn't roll over yet but I am more focused on getting her to sit up. I have a glimmer of hope that she will become slightly independent when she can sit and play with toys.

My friend Carrie said, "She has to be feisty. Kids have to be like that these days." That makes a lot of sense to me too. I want her to be independent and stubborn as she gets older. I want her to have a strong mind and personality, to stand up for herself, to stand firm for what is right. So I guess I can take it now.

At 4 1/2 months old she weighed 15 lbs 3 oz. She was 24 inches long, so she is pretty much long and wide (80th percentile). I still find it so ironic that my smallest baby, who tried to come the earliest, is now the biggest.

As much as she is super demanding, I am so thankful for her. I am glad she'll be the last one home with us. I am glad she forces me to be an attentive mom. I am grateful she is keeping me in line. I am glad she's our last baby...because we will go through these milestones with a bang. As her personality is starting to show more, I get a thrill wondering and guessing what she will be like. I am excited for the next 18 years with her. And beyond.