Macie's 4th

Honestly, this day (yesterday) was just weird. The night before Tanner had been sick and didn't sleep well so I slept in his twin bed with him (worried about even MORE barf in my bed). He must have the most uncomfortable mattress ever.

I had a doctor's appointment where (hooray!) she told me I don't have to be on bed rest anymore because if the baby does come she will be just fine. So I went from hating life on bed rest to enjoying it much more while on "limited activity."

But I was just missing things yesterday. I was off.  I totally forgot about us carving her "M" pumpkin that we have done all the other years. And we even have about 85 pumpkins on our front porch. Oops. We'll do it this weekend. I couldn't make cupcakes but a dear friend brought some sugar cookie stuff over for us to use. I couldn't find my camera. Tanner was still being SO clingly and lethargic. Emma had piano lessons and a soccer game, and with the cemetery closing at 4:30 we had a very small window of time.

Finally Spencer came home, with cupcakes (love him!) and 4 pink balloons and we were off. He parked off the side of the road, right next to her headstone, because he didn't want me walking far, the cemetery was totally empty, and it was closing in 15 minutes. Well, a worker came over and gave us a hard time for being parked there. He wouldn't let it go and it escalated a little bit (Emma even asked if she needed to go break it up), which resulted in Spencer calling the office at the cemetery today. They felt terrible, but at this point I just have to laugh at the comedy of errors it turned out to be. We still sang happy birthday. The balloons were let go at random and Tanner's got stuck in a tree but at least we had balloons. The store-bought cupcakes were orange and black with spider rings in the top...not quite the pink ones we usually have, but it IS October after all. Some friends had cleaned off her headstone, which was very sweet. 

I'm sure Macie isn't offended that we dropped the ball in so many ways on her birthday. It has been really weird for me these last few weeks to be pregnant with a girl, also due in November, and have all these little hiccups going on. I'm starting to get anxiety about her birth.

When I found out my c-section date I told the baby nurse (for Macie and for Tanner), hoping she could work it out to be there then. It only seems right to have her with us, taking care of my babies in those first few minutes of life. Unfortunately she had shoulder surgery this week and is out for a while, but she let me know that the nurse who will be there that day is great. All the nurses in the hospital know me by now, I have non-stress tests twice a week, I see my doctor at least once a week, and I have ultrasounds all the time. Pretty much every weekday involves some doctors and this baby of mine. We are in the final stretch!

I am vowing to make Macie's 5th birthday much more restful, calm, and meaningful. But with 4 kids, I guess I can't promise anything. As long as I remember the pumpkin.