Monday, October 3, 2011

October

October is a strange month for me. Historically it is really busy. It is Halloween - perhaps the least sentimental holiday out there. But it's also Macie's birthday.

After not thinking about her a whole lot in what seems like WAY too long, I have thought about her a lot during the last week. I guess I attribute that to General Conference (LOVED several of the talks but 2 in particular), the fact that she would be 3 soon, and the fact that I have had several opportunities to talk about her. I'm glad it's fresh in my mind again. I noticed that the first year after she died was so hard because I was always thinking in terms of "This would be her first Christmas/It's been ___ months since she died/etc." Now that we are past that there are other things that make it hard. Hearing people complain about being pregnant stings a little bit, even though everyone does it. Not thinking about Macie as much makes me feel guilty. It's a different struggle now than it was before. But it's still hard.

SO. In honor of Macie and of my other kids, I will do "mom blog" posts all October long. This is going to be for me, to remind me once again of how much I love what I do, and how happy my kids make me - ALL of them. (I'm writing this as Tanner is screaming in his crib and won't sleep.) All about them. You may find it boring - fair warning.

Happy birth-month, Macie. Here we go...

6 comments:

Lisa R.D. said...

Can't wait to hear/read your thoughts!

Carly said...

Great idea. I'm excited to read these posts!

GHFamily said...

Love you Cheri.

Me said...

I love this idea, Cheri.
The other day I had what I like to call a "pink moment" when I felt a pang for my Emma. I would have had a two year old girl this month if all went as expected, the ideal. I wonder if she would have had curly hair like me, if she would have liked to spin around the room as I played Matt & Kim in the morning. Then I quickly thought, but then I wouldn't have Nate.
Which opens up an entirely different can of emotional worms! Ugh.

But, I’m just trying to say is that I understand.
I love you and wish you well with your blogging this month. I’ll be reading. : )

House of Tong said...

Heart you girly!! xoxox

Misty said...

I love your mom posts so far. So sweet! I wish MY Tyler was as well mannered as yours! =) He was super easy until 18 months...then he got a bit crazy!

I've actually been thinking about you and Macie quite a bit lately. You are amazing!