Monday, February 21, 2011


Two things:
1. The few times Spencer has had to discipline Emma, it has completely devastated her. She gets really embarrassed and it takes her a long time to recover from it. Whenever I discipline her, she is sad for a minute and then gets over it. This doesn't happen much with her because she's pretty darn good, almost all the time.
2. A couple months ago I bought Tyler some new pajamas. His were all too small or not great for the colder weather. I chose the Star Wars Legos ones. Tyler loved them. When Spencer got home from work that night, right before the kids went to bed, he saw Tyler's pajamas and they instantly--almost as if prompted--started pretend fighting with light sabers. Sound effects were included. It was one of those moments when I didn't quite "get" it, but it did make me smile. And I got to thinking.

I have gradually realized something in the last year or so, about how my kids respond to different things. Since I am the one with them all the time, if they need to be disciplined I would much rather it be from me, handled right away. This is effective; as they are still quite innocent and don't get in trouble often it's not a big deal. They really are good, and they rarely fight with each other or with other people.

When Spencer gets home they see it as play time; and he does too, apparently. I want it to always be that way, especially since he often has long hours at work (like right now). When he gets home, I want all of them to be happy to see each other. So, I have made the decision to handle that lame part of parenting - disciplining - by myself when possible. Obviously this won't always work or be wise, depending on the situation, but I would rather be the "bad guy" for a few minutes, and then we can all get over it and have fun again, and have Spencer get to come home and not have to discipline or be the "bad guy." And I certainly never want them to be scared of him. With all that he does, I think he deserves to be the "good guy" as much as possible.


The John Hollingshaus Family said...

Well said!

The Rich Family said...

I ditto this COMPLETELY....(well, mine fight with each other more often)I am working on resolving that. But everything else....perfectly put. Thanks Cheri