I can't tell you how many times the famous words It was the best of times, it was the worst of times have gone through my head in the last two months (and I don't even like that book)!
There is almost nothing I love more than a tiny baby. I love the smells, the snuggling, the feeling, the staring into each other's eyes. I love how it feels to hold and love someone who grew inside of me for so long. I love the purity of a baby, knowing that he came straight from heaven. I love showing him off, and hearing "he's so cute!" all the time. I love how he smiles at me, even when he's eating, and I almost cried last night when he (finally!) smiled at Spencer. And, I love being SO loved by the baby...I love how he calms down when I hold him and how he snuggles up into my neck, how he knew immediately that I'm his mom and that I love him more than anything. I love that after 9 weeks I am finally pain-free.
At the same time, I can't imagine anything more hard or emotional. I feel like my emotions are so heightened for the weeks after the birth. I get so frustrated when I hear the baby's crying for the 8th time during the night. I cringe when he wakes up every single time I put him down for a nap. I get frustrated when he wakes up every single time the car stops. And when he's so overtired from NOT sleeping, I completely run out of patience. I hate how sometimes I don't know what he wants. I hate that he won't take a pacifier, but I am persistent and continue to put it in his mouth even when he's asleep just so maybe, just maybe he'll get used to it and like it. It grosses me out that I have only changed ONE plain wet diaper in 2 months; the kid messes his pants at least 8 times a day. I don't like that I get nothing done. It bugs me that I often intend to vacuum for 5 days before it actually happens. I wish he'd grow up quickly and be a little more easy to handle, but the larger part of me is devastated that he's growing up so fast and I wish I could freeze time and keep him a sweet little baby forever.
So you see, I am either crazy with my ups and downs or I'm just a regular mom who experiences such drastic emotions with a new baby. Regardless, I sure love this kid. I love holding him and playing with him. Maybe because, as Spencer says, I had to be pregnant for 18 months to get him. And I'm so so grateful.
10 comments:
Ditto. And I love those cheeks!
That boy can melt anyone's heart!!
He's so dang cute, Cheri! I love that smiling in his sleep picture. Ah, newborns. . . it's been a while, but I vaguely remember those same feelings. I definitely remember the not wanting Luke to get any bigger. :)
He is just darling! Makes me so excited for our little guy, and yet, super nervous about Christmas! I think they're made so cute for a reason!
I would say you're a pretty typical mom who would do anything for your child and loves all the sweetness but would also LOVE a good night's rest, and a few hours of quiet. My trick? Turn off the baby monitor after the 7th time being awake in the middle of the night! ;-)
He is truly darling!
Look at that sweet smile!! I loved hearing your thoughts on how things are going for you. And ouch to being in pain for 9 weeks. Man, I feel sorry for you! How is a new mom supposed to function with 9 weeks of pain?!?
What Spencer said about being pregnant for 18 months sure brought things into perspective. Tanner is a treasure, and I think all of us moms can relate to just wanting some sleep--for the baby and ourselves.
Keep up the great work, Cheri!
Come and see Grandma, Tanner. I will hold you while mommy sleeps.
Cherri you described it soooo well! To a T! I feel/felt the same way those first few weeks with Finn. I loved him more than anything, I couldn't get enough of him yet he would wake up every time I put him down for a nap. He didn't want a binky(all my other kids did) and so on. I too just kept telling myself only a few more weeks and he'll be easier to take care of, more content to be alone. But now that he's almost 4 months its sad that I wished those times to go so fast because he grew up sooo fast! I think being a mother brings such mixed emotions. Thanks goodnew they love us no matter what and oh those sweet cheeks!
OH Cheri, yes, I too, seriously feel the same way with a new baby! At times so darn frusterated, but other times sad that they grow so fast! Perfectly said Cheri! Holy Cow, this little boy is such a handsome one! My new FAVORITE picture in the world is this last one!! Aw, I just want to squeeze him! I wish I could hold him! Give him a big kiss for me!
"He's so cute!" I mean it! :o) Can you believe I'd already forgotten about those newborn ups and downs? Can you believe Sean is 18 months? MAN!
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