more mom stuff

Maybe this is a brain-dump of sorts, but I've been thinking a lot about this for a few weeks.

I happened to watch Oprah a few months ago (which is very rare for me). Someone whose blog I read was going to be on that day, so I made an effort to record it and watch. At one point Oprah was talking about how this woman was a mother of 4 and wondered how this talented woman could put herself/her interests on the backburner so she could have and raise her children. Oprah said how common it is that women put their interests and talents aside completely when they have children. (Ironic that she sometimes comes across like such the mothering expert.) The connotation was one of...dismay?...sympathy?...disdain? But I loved the young mother's response. She simply said, "Well, you kind of have to." She didn't sound sad about it, or that she was missing out on things she wanted to do. If you go into it knowing what you're doing, I think it's just natural and not difficult.

I remember after I had Emma that for a few months I felt like I was no longer myself, that my life would forever be changing diapers and feeding children. Then I got into a routine and it was great, and I understood why people had more than one child. I had Tyler and he really threw me for a loop - he wasn't quite the angel that Emma was. But I had known that I wanted them close together. Maybe some of my interests and talents had to take a back seat for a few years, but I knew that going in. I couldn't do lots of things I wanted to anymore because they interfered with naptime or bedtime. Now that they're a little bit older I find myself with a little more time to rediscover things I used to enjoy doing, and find new things to do. I think it's just the cycle of mommyhood. Things get crazy, and then they get crazy but a little more manageable. Or maybe it's just a different kind of crazy...

I had a few extra kids around my house this past weekend. They were great and they're darling girls, but it threw me for a little loop. (However, I did manage to get 4 kids dressed and to 9 am church a whole ten minutes early!) I said to someone, "Four kids is HARD!" An older couple heard me and said, "You think it's hard now? Wait until they're teenagers!" I had to smile and nod in agreement. But I think all stages are just different in terms of hard. It will be a different "hard" in 10 years than the "hard" it was 2-4 years ago.

Anyway, I find these little cycles interesting. We CAN do everything, just maybe not all at the same time. While I had no time AT ALL for myself a few years ago, I DID sign up for that. I think that's what makes moms good moms - we're willing to take a back seat for a while in order to give our kids what they need. But it's a cycle and in time, I will have more chances to do what I want to do, especially if those things involve them. And maybe my kids will take up some of my interests and we'll be able to do them together.