best

I think I need to clean my bathroom more. As I was scrubbing the toilet yesterday I started thinking about a lot of things. And pieces of this talk kept popping into my head. That is reason enough to clean my bathroom more, and to clear my head.

I looked up the talk and at the very top I read, "We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they...strengthen our families."

Then I got to go to our ward's New Beginnings last night. I really loved it, probably more than any other that I have ever been to. Perhaps my mind was just in the right place. The music was phenomenal, those who spoke did a wonderful job, I was so proud of the girls who ran it, and I left there wanting to do better in so many ways. I kind of want to have my own new beginning/fresh start.

Maybe I get reflective at this time each year. I don't really know. This is a busier time in our household than most other times. We really welcome April 15th not because we get a nice tax return (usually it's the opposite) but because we see Spencer a little more. I really can't complain because he's got a great job and they sure love him at work. And believe me, it's not too hard for me to manage the kids by myself now that they're a little older.

When the kids were little (not in school) I had lots of offers to leave for a few weeks during "busy season" and go somewhere - anywhere - where family members were in order to get away from the stress of a crazy work schedule. I always considered it. I never did it. It might have been easier on me to have new surroundings, other kids for my kids to play with or grandparents to dote on them, and I wondered if it would make it easier for Spencer. But was it the best thing for Spencer? Was it the best thing for my family? I never felt that it was. When Spencer is crazy and working 90+ hours a week, the last thing he wants to stumble home to at midnight is an empty house.

In fact, I notice that at these times he's a lot more willing to get up with the kids and spend those few minutes with them in the morning before he has to leave. He loves carrying them to bed when they've fallen asleep in their new tent on the floor, or when they've made their way into our bed, or when they sleepwalk in at 1 a.m and are totally confused. I just couldn't ever take that away from him. Or them. Or me.

One thing I'm learning is that it is ok to say "no." I try to be home as much as I can and to give my family as much of my attention as I can. That doesn't mean it's easy or even preferable sometimes. But it just makes me feel better.

Here's another quote that I really like: "We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it...Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives."

I love this talk because he doesn't tell us what is good, what is better, and what is best. The wonderful thing is that we all get to use our own minds and hearts to determine our priorities in our OWN lives. So, we all get to be different and choose what is important to us. Props to all those who can seem to do everything and keep their heads on straight. I'm not one of those people.

Anyway, I guess this is the reason I have never left town when things get a little crazy around here. I guess this is why I might come off as selfish or unfriendly when others ask me to do big things that involve me leaving my family, or even putting them aside for any period of time and I say no. I definitely have a long way to go in terms of my priorities on a more individual level (trust me), but it is something I think about all the time.

I'm glad for those snippets of personal inspiration while I'm cleaning the toilet. Now if I could get them while I'm eating brownies...