I've been thinking about what to blog about. I have lots of things in my head right now I guess. My kids have been doing some funny things. Spencer got a bonus at work. But I feel the need to blog about my 3rd child, the one who I won't get to post first-day-of-school pictures of....the one I won't get to see eat her first birthday cake next month...The one I I had to say goodbye to before I ever really got to say hello.
I love that when Emma draws pictures of our family or writes all our names, she includes Macie. I love that we don't feel the need to go to the cemetery every week anymore, as we know she isn't actually there. I love that every helium balloon {still} goes straight to her in heaven. Life does go on, but it's different. And, as I recently heard, "Grief looks different on everyone."
I wish I'd soaked up that pregnancy more. I wish I hadn't complained about my swollen ankles. I wish I'd had just a little more time.
Anyway, on her 11 month birthday/angel-versary I just thought I should remind myself - physically - of her. We have plenty of reminders of our little angel in other ways.
Friday, September 25, 2009
just thinking
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12 comments:
Cheri,
My thoughts are with you and your family. Macie has a great mother and you will have great times with her. I know that doesn't heal the hurt now, but I am so thankful for that knowledge! I know you are, too.
I can't even imagine the pain you have felt in this last 11 months and my thoughts are with you. You are a great example of strength through difficult trials. Thanks for posting your thoughts today--I really enjoyed reading them.
Oh Cheri... I don't know what to say to make things better. I would imagine that she will never leave your thoughts no matter how much time goes by. I am so thankful that I know some day you will have her once again. Never stop thinking about her Cheri because I know she thinks about you too.
Cheri I think you're amazing to remain so positive about your life, and to keep reminding yourself of everything you have and have lost. I tend to try and forget all the bad things hoping that it will be easier that way, but I think you're much stronger for keeping your little macie in your thoughts. You're two in primary are little angels themselves. :)
Your Emma is a delight in class on sundays and I want you to know how much she truely loves her sister. She comments about her often. You are an inspiration!
Hi Cheri, I enjoyed reading this post. You have such a positive attitude and your faith is amazing. It is an inspiration to me.
Beautiful post! I think of you and your sweet family often...
why is motherhood, in some ways anyways, so fleeting? I hope we will have great rememberances in heaven of all of the miracles (like pregnancy) that happen and then are past.
I really love hearing about how you are doing. We all love that sweet Macie!
I've been thinking about Macie too lately-- especially with our shared birthday coming up and with the lesson on Sunday. It makes me ashamed for all the times I've complained about little things in my life. When I think of macie, she reminds me of why we are really here and our purpose of returning to live with Him. You are amazing Cheri! And a constant inspiration to me.
Your post made me cry. i am so sorry that you didn't get more time with her. Was that quote from gray's anatomy...
What a sweet post, Cheri. I loved hearing your thoughts of your precious Macie. We love you guys.
xoxo
These posts always make me cry- I'm so glad that you are willing to share this part of your life. It helps me to truly appreciate all that I have. Thank you.
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