I have been very aware lately of the concept of "busy." I am frankly tired of saying I am busy when someone asks how I'm doing, and I am even more tired of feeling that way.
About a month ago, with this Read-a-Thon at school looming, baseball starting, a baby who likes to be held ALL.DAY.LONG, callings, and Spencer in his crazy season at work, I decided to eliminate one part of my life that is somewhat important to me but not necessary. What a difference that made. I didn't have that hanging over me...a great thing since I had so much else hanging over me. I knew this elimination would be temporary, as the craziness right now is just temporary. It taught me, though, how much I prefer to have things to do but to not feel overwhelmed. And it's suddenly easier to feel like I'm on top of things. Just by removing one thing for a few weeks I had that great reminder.
I can think of a few times when Tanner has sweetly asked me for something and I said, "Nope. I'm too busy." Then when he later asks me for something, he will say "Mom, are you too busy?" Dagger to the heart. Or how Emma will sometimes say, "Mom, when you're not busy, will you ______?" Ahh, that just hurts. But it has also opened my eyes. Maybe I can't do what they want/get what they want right away, but I'd rather have them assume that I can and not that I can't.
So so so many times the LDS catch phrases of "What Matters Most" and "Good, Better, Best" have been in my head. Of course right now I am a mom to a bunch of little people, and I chose this. I chose them. I need to make sure they get my full attention. If I can't do that, then what is my purpose?? And while I don't feel like I glorify the idea of being busy, it sometimes gives me one more thing to whine about. And I definitely don't need or want one more thing to whine about. And I don't want the less important things to keep me from what is the most important.
Instead of finding things to complain about, and making myself crazy in the process, I want to be happier and more easy-going. And I will do that by staying as far away from busy as possible (after read-a-thon is over on Friday night). Wish me luck!