I just need this documented. I need to put my feelings down. I also need to remind myself how I was feeling in this moment, when I look back and read this in the future.
In 10 days we will fly out of CA for Northwest Arkansas. Bentonville. Home of Wal-Mart. The variety of emotions is sometimes overwhelming. But so many little pieces, little details have come together so that there is no denying we are doing what we are supposed to be doing.
I thought we were here forever. I love my house. I love what we have done to it. I loved dreaming and planning how we would expand it in two years to fit our growing children a little bit better. I have always dreamed of my home being a gathering place where my kids want to bring friends, where people can come and visit us. I started to worry in recent years that it isn't that, and maybe would never be that. We feel crowded and while you don't need space for your kids to have fun, it sure is helpful.
Months ago (maybe even years), I started to get frustrated with where we live. Friends have said we "live in Sodom" (don't we all?) and I was feeling it. But Spencer's job was here and we planned to be here. He was going for Partner. That was what we felt we should do.
A friend talked to me at my brother's wedding reception about this place she had just been to called Bentonville, Arkansas. I had heard of it, because of Walmart. I was intrigued and heard a lot about it. I think that conversation was meant to happen, because when a job opportunity presented itself - in Bentonville - just three weeks later, I was ready to listen. Ready to listen, maybe, but not sure about uprooting my family. But definitely open to listening.
The more Spencer found out, the more he invested his time and questions into this job, the more we felt the pull like we needed to go. We started making improvements to our house in case we needed to sell it. And if we didn't end up going, we were making improvements to our house. :) But deep down, we both just knew. And he didn't even have a job offer yet. He hadn't even interviewed yet.
He flew out there. And he loved it. He loved the people. He loved the lifestyle. He loved the idea of raising our family somewhere with actual family values. He liked the slower pace of life. This isn't really just about a job, it is about being where we think is the BEST place for our kids, for our family.
By the time the job offer came in, we were ready. We took two days to "consider it," even though we didn't need to. My heart hurt because I am leaving Macie here. It still does a little bit. I worried about moving the kids. About starting over. About my kids making new friends, going through the HARD part where they have to ride a bus and be new and break into those groups. But those concerns have almost disappeared. It will be hard for a while, and I know they will struggle with those things, but I also know they will love it.
We bought a great a house, and spent more than I imagined we would, but it will be what I always envisioned. It is on almost 2 acres of land, has a ton of space (5400 square feet), Spencer will be home for dinner most nights (!!!), and my kids will get to grow up with other good, Christian people. We will have room for visitors!
We sold our house. Really fast. For about $40,000 over asking price. Another way I know this is what we should be doing. The "hard" isn't as hard as it could be, and the easy is coming in loads. I will miss my friends, my cute little house, my dear wonderful neighbors, and living NEXT TO the church. But we are trading it in for what we hope will be better for all of us in the long run.
Our house staged and ready for the market...
And here are some pictures of our new house in Arkansas.
1 comment:
What a range of emotions you must be feeling! I love it. So exciting. And so great that you know it's right. I hope we can come visit sometime!
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