our weekend in pictures

 

 

(Tanner was still feeling pretty awful - worst stomach bug ever)

I do need to say something about Macie's birthday. I want to remember that it was a crazy day, but when I left to pick up the kids from school I told Spencer to cut the "M" in the pumpkin and when I got back 25 minutes later it was DONE and ready (he was working from home and was super distracted so he won major points for actually hearing me and doing what I asked). It was a gorgeous day with a slight breeze, and as we released the balloons (3 pink and two purple with polka dots) we could see them for about 7 minutes in the sky. That was really fun. Also, my dear friend Danielle supplied the cupcakes...what a lifesaver she is.

We rounded out the weekend with two Halloween parties and our last time (in 2013) at Great America. Perfect weekend.

a re-post

Yesterday wasn't my favorite day. My adorable 3 year old threw up on and off all day, so I didn't get the preparations for Macie's birthday done. So, before I went to bed (I think I slept 3 hours two nights ago) I decided to read blog archives from when she passed away.

5 years is a long time. Time DOES heal, but it also causes one to forget. I didn't put too many details on this blog, but I wrote pretty much every detail possible in the days and weeks following her death, and for that I am so grateful, as a lot has faded. As much as experiencing great sorrow is something you wouldn't wish on anybody, it has made happy times so much more joyous. I think I started to FEEL a lot more 5 years ago when I was forced to face some really tough emotions. Macie changed me, permanently.

Here is the re-post from October 2008 - one of just two blog posts Spencer has written. And I am so glad he did. It gave me just the boost that I needed. (Here's to hoping for healthy bodies in the coming days...):

 

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Our Blessings

Cheri and I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and kind words during this difficult time. We've been overwhelmed with the love we have felt both from family and friends, but more importantly from our Heavenly Father. Over the past few days, we can't help but think of the many blessings large and small that we have witnessed. The hospital room where we stayed literally became heaven on earth and we are eternally grateful for the choice experiences we had there. There are not enough words to describe nor list all that we are thankful for from wonderful nurses/doctors/volunteers at the hospital to Cheri's Mom dropping everything to come to our aid, to a loving Bishop and Relief Society President who have gone above and beyond, to our wonderful family all over the country pouring out their love and support. The most important blessing we feel thankful for is Macie choosing to be part of our Family. We are honored and humbled by her.

Macie really is our angel. She was so perfect in every way and we know that she will be always be with us. We will be having a graveside service for her on Thursday and although we know that will be a hard day for us, we know that our separation from her will be temporary. A few scriptures/quotes have given us comfort:

"But Jesus said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of heaven." (JST, Matthew 19:14)

"The Lord takes away many, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man and the sorrows and evils of the world. They are too pure, too lovely, to live on earth. Therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning, we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil and we shall soon have them again." (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pp. 196-197).

"...that the mother who laid her little child, being deprived of the privilege and satisfaction of raising it up to manhood or womanhood would, after the resurrection, have all the joy, satisfaction, and pleasure, and even more that it would have been possible to have in mortality, in seeing her child grow to the full measure of the stature of [her] spirit..." (as quoted in Gospel Doctrine, p. 454).

Very fitting for us is that Macie will be buried in a cemetery called "Pioneer Cemetery" and will be with other little angels like herself who went before their families and like Pioneers of old paved the way for others to follow. Our family hopes and prays to live our life worthy to join our precious Macie in the highest degree of Celestial glory.

-Spencer

nearing the end?

Remember when people used to blog?

I think the time for this blog to wrap up might be near. I get sick of it, I don't have time for it (or I choose not to have time for it), and I feel like other forms of social media are more instananeous and fun, and slightly more private.

But then I see my kids (the two who read) lounging on a couch, reading our old blog books. I see this quite often. And they laugh and we talk and reminisce...and I just don't see how I can stop.

I think I am nearing the end of writing for other people to read. As of this moment I am planning to keep doing it, less frequently, so I can keep printing them out. Maybe going private? My first two kids have baby books and my last two don't. I feel like our blog/blog books sorta make up for that. My scrapbooking has gone by the wayside as nowadays PTA, Young Women, growing children, and other things take up the time that I used to have for that stuff.

Maybe I will finish off 2013. And then if you are interested at all, you'll have to be my facebook friend or follow me on Instagram. Which...REALLY, that isn't asking a lot I don't think. Right?

This season of life is so fun. I am just wanting to so badly to be wrapped up in it as much as possible because I won't get it back. And I LOVE IT. The joy of having kids is not at all overrated.

For now, here are some fun pictures of my big kids as they wrap up their soccer season.

 

pushing buttons

There is a special spot in my heart for this boy.
There always will be. Even though he has told me twice that I have a big bum.

 

His cute face and platinum blonde hair just get me. His long eyelashes and cute voice... I adore him.

Last week he was sitting by me holding my phone and smiled as he said, "Mom, I like to push buttons." I smiled at the irony and have thought about that a lot since then. He does sometimes push my buttons. All my kids do. But I am so happy and wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

I have worked hard the last two weeks to be more present in their lives. I pretty much play with Sadie and Tanner all day. I have halted doing most extracurricular things, or things for myself that I used to. Sadie loves (loves!) to be out in the dirt so I let her crawl all over the front yard getting as dirty as possible. She also enjoys crawling all over me so I am always on the floor. Tanner loves to read books so we are doing more of that. The simple things that just get harder with more going on and more kids.

It's ok if you push my buttons sometimes, little buddy. When you aren't around to push them as much I will miss it so much!

And here I am with my cute baby. And both of us doing the Sadie bull face. I think she is pretty awesome.