relief

Nothing quite like a little trip to the beach with two off-and-running kids and this cute baby...

...to get us away from our latest "project" for a short time. And let me tell you, it has been a project!

That sums up our spring break in a little tiny nutshell. More to come!

busy

There are a few things I hope my kids will know about me, especially lately as things have been a little crazy.

*Vomit is one of my very least favorite things in this entire world. And when it's red and when it's everywhere...even worse.
*I really do like to get on their level to read, play Legos, do trains, color, etc. I've noticed what a difference that makes to them when I don't always make them come up to me (table, counter, etc.), but instead when I join them where they're comfortable.
*I love to read, and I love for them to read, and I have dreams of them being those kids with their noses always in a book. I need to do better at modeling this. I also dream of running them to the library just because they're interested in learning about some obscure, totally random subject.
*We all do better with routines.

And there are a few things about me that I hope they'll excuse, or forget altogether:
*I get stressed out easily. When one stressful thing is going on I'm ok, but when everything is piling up and Spencer's in his busy season and I'm not sleeping....I get stressed and they see it. I hope they will know it's temporary and that I am far from perfect but that it's ok. (Is it obvious I've been overwhelmed?) It sorta breaks my heart and sorta touches my heart when I hear Emma pray that "mommy won't be stressed."
*I'm not the best with bedtime routines anymore. Maybe it's because they're older and can put themselves to bed, maybe I've just gotten lazy, but I really think it's that putting 3 kids to bed at the same time, by myself, is just too hard. I used to love bedtime. They would each get a story every night (different ones). One night last week Emma asked me to lay next to her and talk. We talked about everything she wanted to and for once I didn't mind that it was 9:30 and she was still awake. It was nice.

Thankfully, Emma's sweet notes every night bring a smile to my face. One of my favorites was when I saw on her little piece of paper, "Can you show me how to Jimmer?" Love that girl.

And now that tax day is almost here (this is a huge cause for celebration in our house), maybe the stress will lessen a bit. Hooray! I just have to say how grateful I am for good friends who step in when I'm about to completely lose my mind.

embracing the crazy

You know what, I really can't change my kids' personalities. (Shocking, right?) Tyler was a needy, clingy baby and now he's incredibly independent. He's just fine. Tanner is incredibly clingy and needy but it doesn't really bother me or stress me out like it did with Tyler. I'm embracing it instead. I've decided to embrace just how much he loves me. So what if he can't be next to me and has to be ON my lap? Someday he won't want to be on my lap and I'm going to wish so badly that he would just let me hold him. So what if he won't sit in the cart at Target and has to be held? The Bjorn might as well get some more use before he's too big and I'm left with a limp, dirty, spit-covered baby carrier, and a walking running toddler.

With every stage of Tanner's baby-ness I get incredibly nostalgic. Like right now, for example. Tanner is on the verge of crawling. I am thrilled on one hand because maybe he won't sit there and cry for me, but instead he can follow me and keep his mind off the fact he isn't being held. But on the other hand it makes me so sad. This is probably the last time I'll be teaching/helping a baby to crawl. And soon it will be the last time I have a baby learning to walk. And then the last time I will have a child at home with me during the day...

So, I'm embracing the craziness. I love it, because I know how badly I'm going to want all this back in a few years. Being a mom is so hard. It's also the most rewarding thing I can think of. But, I only think it's rewarding because it's so hard. If it was a cake walk I don't think I would get as much satisfaction and happiness from it all. While I will be a mom forever, this stage won't last forever and I think it's this stage (maybe the hardest one) that I will miss the most.

Here's what makes it all so rewarding.

Go ahead and embrace the mommy chaos. It will be over much too soon!