the big 1

Despite my very best efforts, Tanner has continued to grow. I tried so hard to stop him at 4 months, and again at 9 months. And here he is, a year old already, and the baby-ness is almost gone and I am left wondering how on earth I will get my baby fix now.

This day one year ago was one of the most anticipated and also scariest days of my life. From the second Tanner joined our family I knew that he specifically was meant to come. I'm inclined to think that his birth had more meaning and emotion than other births. It also became apparent very quickly that he had been spoiled in heaven by his older sister.  And he has been a fun reminder of just how much work and time a baby requires.

A little about my one-year-old...

My favorite time with Tanner is right before he goes to sleep. I give him his binky and his little blanket and he practically collapses into my arms and neck. He relaxes, I walk him into his room and rub his back and sing to him and rock him for a few minutes. When I put him down he looks at me and then rolls onto his side (always his left side, just like me) and is asleep within seconds. Those times are when I adore every single thing about him. My heart absolutely melts. Last week I held him extra long and he was completely asleep when I put him down. Oh if I could only freeze little moments like that.

I love his white hair. I have trimmed it a few times but gave him his first "real" cut a few weeks ago and almost cried afterward. He suddenly looked so grown up and I just wanted my baby back.

He is happiest with mom. Until about a month ago he wanted anyone who was willing to hold him and tote him around (namely Emma). She's had a bit of rejection sadness lately as he turns away from her and everyone else and chooses to stay with me. It's sweet and endearing, but I sure would like to be free of him for a few minutes every once in a while.

He is also happy watching the big kids jump off the bed. Sometimes I get so desperate for him to be happy that I left them jump off Emma's bed so Tanner will be happy and occupied for 5 minutes. Emma and Tyler ADORE their brother and I'm sure someday those feelings will be totally mutual.

This child loves the bath. I bathe my kids every day from the very beginning and when I ask him if he wants to get into the tub he practically high-jumps it in there. I'm glad he likes it so much because half his dinner is usually in his hair and all over his neck or eyebrows or other random places.

He learned how to work the ipad/iphone right away. At 10 months he could use his pointer finger to drag the screens around and open different apps. He can even work the "home" key. I'd claim pure genius but it's actually probably not something to be proud of. {Also, it's funny to me how Emma was in the "age of the remote" and 7 years later the remote is almost obselete, replaced by newer, much cooler devices that lure babies in.}

His "daddy time" is while Spencer shaves in the morning. Spencer is good about spending a few minutes with each of the kids in the morning since that's all they get to see of him. Tanner will leap into his arms and sit still for the 3 minutes it takes Spencer to shave. 3 minutes of heaven for Tanner, Spencer AND me.

He never really crawled (just the army crawl) but is trying so hard to walk. He can stand and he walks halfway across the living room. He will be steady before August, I'm certain.

I've been told by numerous people - mostly strangers - that "he is the cutest baby I have ever seen." I have to agree. That combination of dark skin, white hair and dark eyes are going to be cause for worry later in life. Right now it's just fun.

His first real word was "bop." (I use the term "real word" loosely.) I know that's not an actual word but he asks for a "bop" when he wants a bottle. He'll even grab my finger and walk with me to the fridge in the kitchen.

Happy birthday little guy.