my mother's day

I think I may have just had the most productive three weeks of my entire life. Almost every minute of every day was spent being busy, not that I necessarily enjoy that. I have this dumb vinyl lettering WORD up in my kitchen, and I'm fairly certain it will be coming down as soon as I get to it. SIMPLIFY. Who ever thought that was a likely option?! Why on earth did I put that on my wall?

When we first moved into our house 4 years ago I was so thrilled to have a non-carpeted kitchen, a pantry, room for a dining table AND a breakfast nook, and a built-in microwave. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I didn't mind the 70s tile backsplash or the 80s appliances. Well, as time went on, and as I got really into home decorating and design, I started to get irritated with my kitchen. I think that when this custom kitchen was installed 26 (?) years ago it was probably really nice. I knew it was time to make a change but since I'm frugal to a fault sometimes and since I clearly forgot about my recently discovered preference for "hiring out," I came up with the crazy idea to remodel it ourselves. So off we went.

I starting faithfully saving money after Christmas for the remodel. And my poor husband...I know he loves me because he took time off work (shocker #1) during the kids' spring break to help me. So he took work off...to work. And he sincerely only complained a few times.

Let me just say that there were a few things that saved us:
*A nice commercial paint sprayer that a dear friend offered to let us use. We returned the not-as-nice one we had bought.
*A lifesaver of a neighbor who was up in our attic re-wiring for hours, and then hooking things up inside the house as well.
*Amazing paint (it better have been amazing for what it cost!)
*Sanding blocks
*Stainless steel appliance film. Wonderful, that stuff.
*Understanding that everything in life is negotiable (granite included).
*And of course, HGTV.

What we would do differently:
*Come up with a better way to drill holes for handles so that it doesn't take 8 hours and a LOT of frustration (and a couple slightly un-straight handles).
*NOT use the paint sprayer inside the house at all.
*Not attempt this with a needy baby around.
*Hire a painter. (I say that...but we really did all this for not a whole lot of money so I don't know if I mean it. Ask me in a few weeks.)

So, here is what it looked like before... (as Mark was taking that annoying in-the-way cabinet out, and as Spencer was in the attic loosening the bolt that was holding it in.)

This once-popular wallpaper made an appearance. Hmmm...hello 60s! I truly love that I got to see that.

And although the angle is different, here is what it looks like now. Clean, bright, and white.

We aren't entirely done; we still need to do the glass tile backsplash and add the beadboard and crown molding, but it is functional, beautiful, didn't cost a whole lot, and Spencer and I still love each other.  Complete success! And Happy Mother's Day to me. Probably the best one ever.
("Simplify" - what a joke. I'm off to pull that down.)

relief

Nothing quite like a little trip to the beach with two off-and-running kids and this cute baby...

...to get us away from our latest "project" for a short time. And let me tell you, it has been a project!

That sums up our spring break in a little tiny nutshell. More to come!

busy

There are a few things I hope my kids will know about me, especially lately as things have been a little crazy.

*Vomit is one of my very least favorite things in this entire world. And when it's red and when it's everywhere...even worse.
*I really do like to get on their level to read, play Legos, do trains, color, etc. I've noticed what a difference that makes to them when I don't always make them come up to me (table, counter, etc.), but instead when I join them where they're comfortable.
*I love to read, and I love for them to read, and I have dreams of them being those kids with their noses always in a book. I need to do better at modeling this. I also dream of running them to the library just because they're interested in learning about some obscure, totally random subject.
*We all do better with routines.

And there are a few things about me that I hope they'll excuse, or forget altogether:
*I get stressed out easily. When one stressful thing is going on I'm ok, but when everything is piling up and Spencer's in his busy season and I'm not sleeping....I get stressed and they see it. I hope they will know it's temporary and that I am far from perfect but that it's ok. (Is it obvious I've been overwhelmed?) It sorta breaks my heart and sorta touches my heart when I hear Emma pray that "mommy won't be stressed."
*I'm not the best with bedtime routines anymore. Maybe it's because they're older and can put themselves to bed, maybe I've just gotten lazy, but I really think it's that putting 3 kids to bed at the same time, by myself, is just too hard. I used to love bedtime. They would each get a story every night (different ones). One night last week Emma asked me to lay next to her and talk. We talked about everything she wanted to and for once I didn't mind that it was 9:30 and she was still awake. It was nice.

Thankfully, Emma's sweet notes every night bring a smile to my face. One of my favorites was when I saw on her little piece of paper, "Can you show me how to Jimmer?" Love that girl.

And now that tax day is almost here (this is a huge cause for celebration in our house), maybe the stress will lessen a bit. Hooray! I just have to say how grateful I am for good friends who step in when I'm about to completely lose my mind.

embracing the crazy

You know what, I really can't change my kids' personalities. (Shocking, right?) Tyler was a needy, clingy baby and now he's incredibly independent. He's just fine. Tanner is incredibly clingy and needy but it doesn't really bother me or stress me out like it did with Tyler. I'm embracing it instead. I've decided to embrace just how much he loves me. So what if he can't be next to me and has to be ON my lap? Someday he won't want to be on my lap and I'm going to wish so badly that he would just let me hold him. So what if he won't sit in the cart at Target and has to be held? The Bjorn might as well get some more use before he's too big and I'm left with a limp, dirty, spit-covered baby carrier, and a walking running toddler.

With every stage of Tanner's baby-ness I get incredibly nostalgic. Like right now, for example. Tanner is on the verge of crawling. I am thrilled on one hand because maybe he won't sit there and cry for me, but instead he can follow me and keep his mind off the fact he isn't being held. But on the other hand it makes me so sad. This is probably the last time I'll be teaching/helping a baby to crawl. And soon it will be the last time I have a baby learning to walk. And then the last time I will have a child at home with me during the day...

So, I'm embracing the craziness. I love it, because I know how badly I'm going to want all this back in a few years. Being a mom is so hard. It's also the most rewarding thing I can think of. But, I only think it's rewarding because it's so hard. If it was a cake walk I don't think I would get as much satisfaction and happiness from it all. While I will be a mom forever, this stage won't last forever and I think it's this stage (maybe the hardest one) that I will miss the most.

Here's what makes it all so rewarding.

Go ahead and embrace the mommy chaos. It will be over much too soon!

oh provo

In honor of the Cougars making it to the Sweet 16...

There is something so familiar, so comforting about going to Provo. Everything there has a memory for me. I only lived there for 4 1/2 years but those were some of my favorite years. I started college, I hiked the Y all the time, I figured out who I was, I learned that college was hard stuff, and I learned a lot about real life. I met Spencer there, was an EFY counselor there, graduated from college, and had my first baby there. It was the hardest and the best of times. I rubbed shoulders with the cream of the crop. We all (almost all) lived the Honor Code with pride. Provo consumes you; there is nothing quite like it. I felt euphoric as we walked around. Even the smell of the hand soap on campus took me back.

The chance to go came up last week, and aside from leaving two of my kids behind we were thrilled. It was a quick recruiting trip, just 36 hours, but we managed to eat all my favorites - Cafe Rio, Texas Roadhouse, Magleby's, Brick Oven and BYU bookstore chocolate covered cinnamon bears. I got to see some old friends (but not all of them, darn it), some former YW, and some family.

I got only one picture, with a cell phone nonetheless, and Spencer doesn't look too great with his eyes closed. And don't mind the color they're wearing. But our cute little guy, even though he won't remember, got to join his parents at the place where they met. (If we'd been really sappy and specific we would have gone to the SWKT auditorium.)

I love Provo. I love BYU.

Go Cougs!

8 months

Tanner has now been outside of me as long as he was inside of me, give or take a few days. And I can finally say that I'm sorta figuring this child out. Hooray for that. We spend a lot of time each day looking at each other (it isn't enough to be next to me; he must be on my lap or in my arms). As a result, I sure love his face. Now that he can sit, I plop him facing me and we make each other laugh a ton. His dimples melt my heart.

Tanner is a good conversation piece. Really. I can't say how many times I get stopped anytime I go anywhere, by people wanting to talk to him and tell me just how cute he is. I think all my babies have been very cute, but with him there's something else. I think it's the darling cheeks and dimples - they just scream BABY, and everyone loves it. However, today a nice Scottish man and a grocery bagger both told me it's his eyes that make him so beautiful. I can't make it through Costco without at least 3 or 4 people making comments about him.

He is full of personality. Most of the time I am just so grateful to have an energetic, playful baby. He loves peek-a-boo, loves singing every baby song I can think of, loves nursery rhymes, etc. He still smiles with his whole body. His laugh is adorable.

I never though I'd say it but I'm sad he's growing up. He's been so hard and so needy since day 1 but at the same time it is so satisfying to know I've given him everything he needs, and wants. :)

This kid loves his dad. Both Emma and Tyler went through stages as babies where they "forgot" Spencer because they would only see him on Sundays. Tanner only sees him for a few minutes in the mornings (and on Sundays a little bit) but he leaps out of my arms to go to him. This morning Spencer took him for a minute before walking out the door and Tanner looked pleased as punch. I put my arms out to take him back and he leaned away from me. Wow! So that's what it feels like! I love that he loves his dad. Now only if they could love each other in the middle of the night, and leave me out of it completely...

We sure adore this little boy, this little towhead.